I think being around good Mormons for the past year has made me a better person. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean I like my family any better. Aren't parents supposed to set an example for their kids? And shouldn't they try to abide by the rules they set for their kids? Or shouldn't they figure out what the rules will be before they have kids, and then abide by them? I know that's what I'm gonna do when I have kids, but that is not what my parents did. This is all brought to the forefront in my mind because I've been spending the past week with them 24/7. And just a few minutes ago my dad said the f word cuz he was irritated at Lisa. Who even brings their work on vacation?! Well, my parents do. I swear my dad and mom have spent half their time working, and they only argue more when they're working. Plus my dad is kind of slow, so when we try to give him directions he misses turns and second guesses the GPS, and we get lost or almost lost. Either way, he gets frustrated and starts getting irritated. And when he's irritated, my mom is irritated. And then they just argue, and bring up old arguments, and neither of the, can let the other have the last word. My dad tries to make my mom stop, but it's pbvious that all his efforts are insincere. And my mom knows they're insincere. Ergo, the arguing doesn't stop for a very, very long time. If I had any savings, I would find a friend or two and rent an apartment. Being around my family makes me so apathetic. Every time I try to encourage them to change, I get a bunch of excuses. Especially excuses that concern my dad. Cuz my dad is incredibly immature, and there are tons of excuses that my mom has for him. It probably just makes her feel better to make excuses for him. My family is completely incapable of change, so I must be, too. Or so their logic says.

Oh, and here's an annoying story. I had made plans with Jeff to hang out, cuz I was only gonna be about half an hour away from him. Of course, to my family, that means Jeff and I are in love. Ugh. Incredibly enough, guys and girls are perfectly capable of being just friends! I liked hanging out with Jeff, and he was nearby, so I asked him to hang out with me. That must mean I like-like him! And then he drove a whole 35 minutes to come hang out with me. That must mean he like-likes me, too! Oh, please. And then they found out that he had a date that night, and he had come to see me, anyways. No matter how I tried to explain it, they wouldn't leave it alone! I'm afraid to even mention him now, cuz they'll start it up again. I suppose it's better to never mention any guys I'm friends with. Cuz they've done the same "Oooh!" thing everytime I've mentioned a guy more than once. From now on, for all they know, I don't hang out with guys. Of course, that will only make them bug me about being a lesbian. (Which happens when I don't have a crush on a guy I hang out with, anyways.) It's a lose-lose situation. I give up.

I'm back into my miserable, coasting, apathetic attitude. It's better not to try anything. If I try to change, or try something new, or even mention trying something new, I get made fun of for it. I miss Rexburg, where I just had good, supportive friends and no miserably family. I can't stand the idea of spending eternity with them. I'll probably be visiting your guys' mansions and spending a few mini-eternities there.